Tag Archives: spirituality

butterfly

In this Storm

deep in thoughtOriginal Post: 11:53 AM

And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.”

Matthew 8:23-25

It seems that I keep grasping at the accounts of storms in the Bible during the life of Christ where the disciples showed very little faith. More than that… they panicked. But I know I would have been right along with them shaking him awake in the back of that boat and crying out for him to save me. So what is the purpose of these storms in life? Jesus calms the waves and rescues the disciples repeatedly in his time with them. Is it merely meant to make us recognize who is the ultimate authority in our lives? I recognize it, acknowledge it, claim it as a promise and still the waves seem to be brewing in the distance always threatening to wipe out whatever hope has emerged from the dark clouds. I have given up my control repeatedly, daily, and pray before each endeavor. So what is it? Why is the storm still brewing? What lesson have I not learned yet? I do trust that God will make a way for me to get employment and get out on my own. But what is stopping the process? Is it something I am doing or not doing? Is it my pride? I didn’t think I even had anything left to be proud about!

Today I am praying for clarity so that I can see what needs to get done and not spend time on useless things. Praying for wisdom and courage, confidence and perseverance as I finish school and look for work. Also praying for thick skin to take whatever critiques I may obtain so that I can learn and grow from them. Finally, I am praying for sensitivity in my own spirit as I deal with other people and their imperfections; and patience for others as they deal with my imperfections.

Updated: 7:00 PM

Ok, I have to give thanks now! I called my student advisor yesterday to find out just how many more terms they will string me along and I found out that I only have 14 credits left on my degree program but I have another required class left after that which they will not allow me to graduate without. They said they would get back to me about switching me out of one of my non-required classes into this class this term so I can Graduate in March! Got the call to confirm that they did it even though the required class was full and everything looked like it was not likely to work out! God is so good. I needed to be done! I have been working very hard and the stress of not having finished yet was wearing me thin while I am out of work and can’t seem to get anything in my field without the Bachelor’s degree. So, recapping, yes… I will be graduation with a Visual Communications BS degree this March 2008 … as long as I pass both of these classes. 😉 Keep me in your prayers please.

I feel like Job sometimes…

I am very much identifying with the story of Job in the Bible today. I can feel so empty and yet know that when all is taken away so that all that is left is me; that is an opportunity for the Lord to do an internal makeover and remind me who He is. I have found I am filled with an anger that I have been battling since I was very young and, of course, the flip side of anger is depression. So I seem to be figuring out a lot already this year. My identification with Job is that of feeling like an ant while God thunders down a full two chapters (see Job 38-39) of rantings identifying just who God is and how great and mighty He truly is. I feel small and ashamed of my anger at such petty everyday things; and yet so thankful that God IS in control of all those things. (See Job’s response in Chapter 40).

The best thing I can do at this point is to look at all the blessings I have now. I am able to finish school. I have a roof over my head and I lack for nothing to do with my physical wellbeing. I am surrounded by good Christian people, and I can talk to my Savior anytime day or night. With the lack of work so far this week I am even more thankful for the lack of extensive living expenses right now. I am deeply and unconditionally in love and so totally unworthy of it and yet somehow it is reciprocated with a purity that only Christ can give. So although I act like a complete brat at times; I am thankful that God does not give up on me and He provides forgiveness and love when I am so undeserving. He keeps showing me ways to work through this life and reminding me that this is not my home anyways, my home is in Him.

“Jesus answered, ’Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.’”John 4:13-14 (NIV)

I found a great devotional site if anyone is interested, here’s the one I liked today. Encouragement for Today – Jan. 8, 2008